Such a long, long story. Ever hear of burn out, bipolar disorder, not wanting to take your meds because you have the silly notion that they're blocking you. Well I too have fallen under this bit of fallacy and folly. I have been writing since shortly before February 2011. Either blogs, screenplays, short stories, short novels, or novellas. I've also been promoting my ass off. They tell you finding a balance is important as a 'normal' person, but as someone with bipolar disorder it is absolutely essential.
But here's the reality, when it comes to my career I am a bit of a workaholic. I write fast, I promote incessantly and I drink copious amounts of caffeine and eat horribly and probably don't get nearly enough sleep. If I don't take my meds correctly, which I am ashamed to admit I haven't been as of late, that is a sure fire recipe for disaster. And after I finished Breath of Life I watched a disastrous performance of a candidate I supported and absolutely freaked out.
I mean full on, full blown panic attack. I was dealing with these anxieties in the books I was writing as of late and the books were getting increasingly darker. (As you can see, I don't have much faith in people) I foolishly pitched an agent with an unfinished manuscript, I had 30 pages on a screenplay that was one of the strongest pieces I had ever done in that format for a contest, and me and my dad got into it. Then, the bottom fell out and I was so depressed and cried those big fat Matt Damon tears of Good Will Hunting. It was cathartic but I was considering walking away from that agent opportunity and the screenplay.
But you see, I have this aversion to quitting. Whether it's an internal competitive drive, or a left over from my days as a runner where I competed against myself, or even my will to finish and accomplish things if I only set my mind to it I don't know. I like to think it was taking the medicine and getting a cheerleading effort from my secret weapon Tanja Cilia, and a sweet fan letter from a husband and wife, Tim and Abby Druck who loved Gladiator and Bounty Hunter that lifted me up. Or maybe it was a combination of all of those things.
I'm still healing and feel raw but I know this, I'm getting better. So why don't you join me on my GLADIATOR tour. I'm giving away free stuff and there's a lot of cool info about my series to be had! Until next time...