Alright, so I haven't read the book so what right do I have to say anything about it one way another. I don't but here's my two cents. I write erotic romance. Tame by some standards. But it is what it is. I love what I write. I cherish my characters as much as the next writer. And by extension, my readers. What EL James has done is caught lightning in a bottle. You can't predict something like that and to hate her for it, well, it's just stupid. Not that it isn't normal or even human feel a little bit of sour grapes over it but to go spreading it like some kind of venom is petty, unpleasant to be around, and ridiculous.
I hear Anne Rice is nuts. I hear Laurel K Hamilton's lost it. I hear JR Ward didn't let a reader dictate to her how a story should go in a less than kindly manner. It's important to remember these ladies all write like machines to produce characters we love. Maybe we don't agree with their choices all the time but they're human and I try to keep in mind that these stories are as important to them as ours are to us.
As for the 50 Shades phenomenon. It's mainstreamed sex and women are talking about it. Is it 'true BDSM'. I wouldn't know I don't find pain of any kind pleasurable or fear in my sex exciting. I don't want to be dominated and whipped, I don't want to whip and dominate. I do like a good Alpha hero and a strong yet vulnerable heroine. So maybe 50 Shades and menage isn't my cup of tea. Doesn't mean it's not true literature or lower form literature. I think it's perfectly legit and the ladies (and gentlemen) who produce it are great at it.
And when a fellow writer succeeds I see it as a victory for all of us. And if I saw her on the street I'd tip my hat to her for opening the door for others who write in the same vein. Because maybe even if I don't like what she writes I can appreciate that she loves her characters just as much as I love mine.