Creative Chatter: Here's Hydra Author Michael Turner!

Story of an ~~Author~~ ~~Writer~~ a Scribbler

Dear Sanity,

A few things happened while you were out.

My name is Michael Turner, and most of what will follow, is not a lie. The other little bit however, is very much so. That being said, where shall we start? Maybe we should start at the beginning, or maybe… at the end. No… the beginning might be best, since the end has not yet found us. It would probably just depress you anyways. Endings always do.

So let it be known that I relate what follows, only because I believe that some of you have gone through pretty much the same. That is correct. I firmly believe that some of your minds are almost as warped as mine… from experience, circumstance…, and life in general. Now strap in boys and girls, it’s going to be a bumpy ride… or maybe not. So where was I…? Ah… yes, the beginning. That is where we should begin, for that will not be a lie.

I was born, (Men cheered, woman fainted, and children waved multi-colored flags. –lie, but sounds good with a British accent.) and some other things happened after that. Then for the better part of seven years, my life was more or less, lived in a cubicle of a certain size. Not a small one, but also not a very big one. For most of eight hours a day, five days a week, and sometimes longer in hours and days, I sat in that cubicle. Do you know how much solitaire and minesweeper one can play in all that time? I found out, and it would only frighten you to know. (lie… I didn’t count)

Most days the work did not fill the time but I still had to be there. At least the pay was good, though the boredom of days that never seemed to end weighed heavily against the good feelings of monetary gain. I liked to read before, but in this job, I really had the opportunity to truly devour some books. Imagine taking four years and having the chance to just tear through almost a book a week, occasionally in less time. I’m sure a few speed-readers out there are saying, “I do that already.” Well I’ve never understood speed reading, and have never been able to do it. I actually like to read things slow. I savor every last word and syllable. A book is like that old quote about a journey. It’s not about getting there. It’s about everything along the way. I know speedy. That’s just crazy talk. So where were we?

The books unfortunately only kept my mind occupied for so long. Did I mention that I get bored easily? Well… I do. After awhile the boredom and I think a bit of insanity was digging its way through my brain. This job was not a good place for my mind to be, so it had to eventually go someplace else. That place was a world of my own creation. It was safer there than in the office. While it was gone, I did somehow kill my boss’s cactus. She never asked me to watch another plant for her.

I was probably not there no more than three weeks when I first picked up the pen. It’s interesting that when your boss walks by, and you are scribbling on a notepad, I believe you actually look busier than when you’re playing solitaire or minesweeper. I also believe your boss knows exactly what you’re doing on that computer. Those of you with your minds in the gutter, please install the helmet.

What I started to write was definitely not Shakespeare. In fact I believe most writers would have swatted my nose with a rolled up newspaper, for some of the things I dropped out of my pen. I’m sure there are still plenty who would do the same for what I am currently writing. That didn’t matter though. Those were my worlds, my creations. No one had to visit if they didn’t want too, but sometimes they did. All I asked was for them wipe their feet first.

Seven years I read books and scribbled on my notepads. Then something entirely expected happened. I was fired. (lie) Truthfully the whole company was downsized. Still this was a problem. After one attempt and many short stories, my second attempt at writing a book wasn’t quite done. I still had ten chapters to handwrite, and that was just the first draft.

-not the end……. (This is not a lie.)